David's Birthday Surprise

I can't stand it! I just can't keep a secret about the gifts I want to give or the general "theme" or ideas I come up with for David's birthday year after year. First off... for those who do not know him well, he is a huge Rutgers fan and practically expects all things Rutgers when it comes to birthdays and holidays. But if you know me, you probably know I tend to want to come up with my own ideas.

Enough of all that... back to the surprise. For this year's theme I was inspired by a book I read at least parts of back when David and I were first together. This book talks about the five ways to show someone you love them. So for David's birthday I thought I would wrap up something representative of all five categories!

The categories are Quality Time, Service, Gifts, Physical Touch and Words of Affirmation.

Follow my train of thought now if you dare. All of the above is very easy in itself, but let's add to this equation the fact that David just a few days ago showed some concern for our growing credit card debt. I am so very lucky in that he manages all the finances. I don't own a bank card to run to the ATM and withdraw money, and his comment about that early on was he "has enough trouble keeping track of what he withdraws." I am perfectly capable of going to the bank and withdrawing cash, writing a check or just transferring funds around via online banking, but because of his comment about that ATM card years back these are things I just don't do.

To cover any expenses I ever have I always just "Use the card" as this was what he assured me would be easiest for him. That's how we do it. So a couple of days ago when he mentioned to me that our credit card debt has risen to an uncomfortable level in just a very short time I had to know how bad. We like our balance to be zero. The figure he gave me made me suck in my breath. I know the first thing I want to do is stop using that card. Non use of my Visa card combined with those five ways to show someone you love them is what inspired this years gift giving!

For David's birthday I am spending no money. You heard right. No money at all. No more charges on the Visa, not going to write any checks, and his gifts will be something he will love. Years ago his mother told me that her father would rather "count his money than spend it" and we laughed about the apple and the tree.

In our house are several containers filled with coins. These are things David really doesn't pay attention to much. He drops his pocket change and I scoop it up and stash it away. While David counts the bills I have always counted the coins. I am pretty lazy about it so a lot of containers fill up before I actually go for the paper coin rolls and get busy.

One very heavy birthday GIFT coming up. Rolled coins. I will wrap it all in a big box and decorate it with something from my huge collection of crafting supplies. I am proud of how frugal my husband is and I want to show him! AFFIRMATION! I want to show him I appreciate all he gives me as well. I don't "need" a lot of things I have been spending money on and it is time to let him know. So for his birthday I am going to agree not to spend money on anything that is not really needed. Going out to eat a lot is at the top of my list of things I don't really need. If I can't survive that, the least I can do is opt for less expensive places to go!

For the really big gift I have more... A few days ago he gave me cash to go out with the girls, get my nails done or whatever. He never asks questions. I tucked it away. I didn't get my nails done. I really get it in my head that I "need" a pedicure, but I actually can cut my own toenails and when I remove old polish those who may notice my feet probably won't see that I "need" a pedicure. Amazing!

Those crispy bills I did not spend are going into his birthday card. Yes, I keep a box of all occasion cards. I won't even be buying that. In another box I plan to wrap up my credit card. I haven't decided yet if I should cut it into pieces, but my instincts now say yes! I will find a small box to put that in and before he opens it I will ask him to shake it and guess what it is.

QUALITY TIME coming up now... For his birthday he will be escorted to the parlor to open these gifts. While there without the noise of television or the distraction of our computers, we will also have a meal I will prepare and a homemade cake! And I mean home made. Not from the box... but the real deal! SERVICE gets covered now. But I wanted to do more. I plan to create a coupon for a "free back rub" and I am sure he will love that. PHYSICAL TOUCH. Now that is all you need to know.

I can't WAIT!

Silver Shoes

One thing I just can not tolerate is clutter. My philosophy is simple. Use it or lose it. I have a one year rule. If I have not used it in the past year I get rid of it. I try to donate really useful items to local charities. If I really hate the item I assume most others will as well. An example of this would be clothing that is stained or damaged... it goes to land fill. Items with a lot of good use left in them challenge me to find the right match of useful item to person in need of that particular item.

Surely you know the old adage "One man's junk is another man's treasure?" My father used to quote that a lot. He was talking about his junk treasures and that was his justification for keeping rusted bed springs in the yard I suppose.

Our family home was so full of clutter when I was a child that I was ashamed to have my friends see where I lived. I would get off the school bus several blocks away and walk just so fellow students could not see me enter our house. Our yard was full of so much junk I was embarrassed to have anyone see. That yard was missing nothing from the stereo type yard that is going through your mind as you read this. My parents could not seem to get rid of anything.

In my adult years I visited our family home often. I loved my mother in spite of her clutter. I remember one very sad bouquet of plastic flowers covered in dust sitting on the old buffet. I questioned my mother why she had that nasty looking thing. She obviously did not like it very much better than I did. Her reply was simple. "It was a gift." That was the day I mentally registered all of my philosophies on clutter and what to keep and what not to keep. Use it or lose it... Even the silver shoes.

That nasty bouquet was good for nothing but the land fill and sadly it would even be a problem there. Plastic just doesn't go away, but that is another blog for another day. If it is not biodegradable and I am pretty sure my silver shoes fit into that category it is very important to find someone to love them. I do not want the person I gave my silver shoes to feeling like I gave her some dusty old plastic roses. If she doesn't love them I hope she will not feel obligated to keep them just because they were a gift.

I love silver shoes, but I only want them when I have a real purpose to wear them. I am talking about shoes with elegant sparkle. The kind of shoes that are classy not trendy... I am referring to the kind of shoes that are a staple in a woman's wardrobe if she is fortunate enough to have reason to wear them. These are shoes for very very special occasions. These are the kind of shoes most women have to go shopping for when the occasion to wear them makes it's way to your social calendar. These are the kind of shoes that go with designer dresses, the red carpet, ballrooms... all that is truly elegant and feminine. I am not talking about flashy or trendy or gaudy silver shoes... I am talking about simple elegant silver shoes. The kind of shoes that make you feel very special just to own them.

If you own them it might be because you were invited to a private viewing at the Met, maybe you have a friend that has asked you to join her on the red carpet, or maybe you and your favorite person are going to the opera... a concert... anywhere that you can dress up... I mean really dress up. For most of us... this is a once in a lifetime occasion. Then what do you do with those perfectly good silver shoes?

I had those shoes and this was my dilemma. But I had an even bigger problem. My silver shoes didn't fit. I purchased them to wear to a wedding, but that was the year my mama was dying... We didn't go. The shoes were forgotten for a very long time and one day while looking through my closet there they were.

When I opened the box I got that emotional feeling women get when they see a pair of shoes they love! I lifted one out of the tissue paper and slipped it on. Cinderella I am not. Ouch. They didn't fit. I was devastated. I bought them without trying them on. They were supposed to fit. Even if another special occasion were to arise, these shoes would never work for me.

Silver shoes. With just the right touch of rhinestones... not too much... but just enough to make you want to wear them somewhere special. Dancing shoes. Now what was I going to do with them!? I had to find someone that could use them.

I thought maybe I knew the right person so I packed them in with the items going home with a dear friend. I was pretty sure the shoes would fit her eldest daughter.

Now I have doubts. I do not want the dear sweet child I gave them to feeling she has to keep them because they were a gift. Maybe the style is too old for her. She is a young girl, I am an older woman. Would she even want them for dress up? A school play? Halloween?

We all want to give gifts that people will love. I see elegant silver shoes, but to the recipient of my silver shoes... maybe these are just like those dusty plastic roses.

I want her to know she doesn't have to love them. She doesn't have to keep them if she doesn't love them. It really is more blessed to give than it is to receive. Never feel guilty for giving away something that was a gift. Pass it on so it will become someone else's 'silver shoes'

Love What You Do?

Life is short. The older we get the more we worry about that. We want all our moments to be pleasant, rewarding, and best of all fun.

Cleaning the litter boxes is not up there on my list of favorite things to do so here I sit trying to come up with some witty way of letting the world know I need to find a way to get the job done without dreading it.

As important as it is to do what you love, how about loving what you do? I don't "want" to clean those litter boxes. Litter boxes are nasty. So how can I make this an important part of my day? No matter what I am doing it is one of life's moments. Or is this one of those things that simply are there to help us appreciate other things. I really hate those litter boxes. I sure know the housekeepers won't touch them. Even the neighbor boy whom I gave a sizable donation to won't touch them. He did offer to do a "chore" for us... haven't seen him since I gave him the check. But I know where he lives!

So how do I find a way to love what I do when what I do stinks? Literally. Cleaning the litter boxes will save me the embarrassment of having a stinky house? Cleaning the litter boxes will bring me that much closer to my goal for the day... getting to the race track to bet on the ponies! Much more importantly, getting me back to Patty's house to whisk her away to enjoy another day with me. Going to the race track was just the activity... being with my dear friend, Patty is what I love!

First and foremost our plan for today is to see that movie we both want to see, and for various reasons could not get family to go with us. Robin Hood was good, but I want to see Shrek! It's the kid in me. I embrace it. I am in my second childhood.

Last night when I told David that Patty was going to go with me to see Shrek his eyes lit up. "Can you get her to go with you to Sex In the City? so I don't have to!!"

I laughed.

The dishes are in the dishwasher even though today is the day the housekeepers are coming. The weeds are so abundant I decided to call our gardener and let him deal with them, but those litter boxes are calling me.

The only way I can get through this is to think of what comes next... Another FUN day in the company of a very dear friend. As I leave you now I am holding my nose and wishing I could toilet train six cats!

Good Times

Today was such an amazing day. Days like this go by far too quickly. Today I finally got to see my dear, sweet friend Patty. Patty has lupus and has been terribly ill. The last time we were together was way last winter before the snow started to fall. Her husband became ill... had to have surgery... kids got sick... and one unpleasant thing after another kept us apart. Patty was hospitalized... then one week later I landed in the same hospital with my own difficulties.


Today we finally got together and had the time of our lives. We started with lunch in a quiet, cool, booth in the corner of our neighborhood Ruby Tuesday. Being so happy just to be together we started to seat ourselves without remembering this particular establishment provides that service. Upon hearing our raucous laughter as we headed toward our destination... that quiet booth... the employees quickly gathered menus and asked us to lead the way. The booth wasn't quiet any more! Laughter is contagious. Within seconds we had everyone smiling, laughing or just being plain silly.

Then came the drink menus... soft drinks, of course... we may seem inebriated at times, but we are just bubbling over with joy to be healthy and together again.

Simple pleasures like a fruity beverage, an avocado .... * interrupted thoughts* gah how do you spell 'kay sa dee ah'!!!??? I know it starts with a Q... My dictionary is apparently useless and the spell checker on this blog thing as well! The spell checker thinks we had an avocado "question"? Geeesh... ok... back to my story...

We had a lovely lunch and laughed and caught up on all things Kitty and Patty... then drove back to Patty's house just in time to meet up with her adorable daughters. To make a long story short we had "girl's day" out.

The dishes are still in the sink, the litter boxes really need cleaning and the gardens in the front of our house have more weeds than flowers... but life is too short. I needed to just laugh and hug my friends today. The weeds will be there tomorrow... the dirty dishes, the laundry and the litter boxes.

Ever wanted to write a book?

I think everyone wants to!!! Write a book that is. There is at least one book in all of us... or so they say.

Who is they? Who said that?

Regardless... I for one... believe it! What would your one book be about? Who would read it and why? These are all important questions I ask myself more often than you want to know.

Would I write about cats? Plants? Flowers? Gardening in the shade? How to take a nice photo? None of the above. Why? Because I don't consider myself any kind of expert on any of those subjects even though they are all things I love to do.

So what would I write about? I think I could write a book about how to blog.

Did you read this whole thing?

See what I mean?

My first post?

This is my first post. If all goes well it won't be my last... but this is a trial run. I love to talk. I love to ramble on. I love Facebook, taking photos and posting what is going on in my life. I love my life and I love people... well some people. I pick and choose. If you make the A list I am yours for life... you can't get rid of me. I am a pest. I will be in your face...probably with a camera. Facebook isn't enough for me. I have too much to say and it scrolls by too fast. I can't see through all the games to find the stuff I want to know about, talk about or just comment on.

Like I said... I have a lot to say. I just need someone to listen. LOL

What I find myself doing that I do not like is interrupting people. I apologize for that here and now. It isn't that I mean to be rude... it is just that I am so very very forgetful I won't remember that all important thing I want you to KNOW... ok... I will work on that.

Today it was such a nice surprise to see Gordon. Gordon Freed, my husband's cousin. I claim him as my own. I admire his people skills, I love to watch his Facebook page and see all the latest photos he has put up... I follow his travels... and he inspires me to continue to get in people's faces.

Have camera will travel!!! I love ya Gordy!